Like most of my meditative experiences, I stumbled upon this one on accident – I had no idea that breathing into my big toes would result in such a thing.
I had been on a seiza fix at the time, enjoying the wobbles and wiggles of the unbalanced seat. After 40 minutes of yin, we got to meditate for 15 after. Which, by the way, is a fantastic combination.
I was particularly unsettled during this one, the focus of the class was the ida/pingala duality in the body – And repetitive sensations were arising, predominately in my right foot. Not the typical full blown cramp that I’m used to (left overs from a past spinal injury) but more subtle jitters and pranic twitches.
Having learnt by now that the left side of my body informs the right, like a stern but loving teacher. I had the insight that this would work in my feet.
So I focused only on my feet. I focused on breathing into my feet.
Particularly, I narrowed my focus to the skin contact between my big toes, and subsequently their contact with the ground.
Finding a steady breath rhythm, I fell into meditation.
Almost immediately I could sense something different was occurring in my body. A steady vibration was present, it’s source appeared to be the mula banda. It kept me in superb balance, my weight distributed evenly between both legs. It was both comforting and distracting. I maintained my focus on the toes though, to the point where my somatic sense of the world was contained within the space between them and the floor. It felt like my entire body weight was resting on this point.
My imaginal space suddenly opened up. From behind my eyes I looked around at what appeared before me. Where my toes were positioned, atop a small silvery translucent orb floating in a black void. There was infinity all around. My physical body was lost in the trance of meditation except the contact point with this orb. It was moving through space. A filament of silver extended down from the orb into the blackness below, as though I was perched atop the spire of a monumental skyscraper.
As my focus moved, so did this strange apparatus I was seemingly resting on. Well and truly lost in my imagination at this point I suddenly remembered I was meditating a fell back into the mantra we had been working with in class. The visual vista dropped away almost immediately, but my somatic sense of space and balance remained. I could still feel the cavernous void and the toe-balled spire.
I have trouble recalling what occurred next, chiefly how I found myself surfing the partition of Ida and Pingala, but I can describe some of what I saw.
Still feeling a strong sense of sitting atop the toe-ball and steadily repeating the mantra the next transcendent experience occurred in a rather slippery manner, that is; No causal chain of events I can recall actually happened. I was somewhere, but I was nowhere.
To my left – A vast electric blue torrential river of energy was racing past. It’s source at the centre of my field of view was infinitely distant. To my right – An ocean of fiery red effervescence of equal magnitude raced by, in the same manner as the blue. My silver toe-ball was both seperate and connected to the intersection point of these of energy fields. It felt strongly from my connection to gravity, of surfing. I was unmoved, yet moving at light pace through this crack in the fabric of reality.
I began to outstretch my hands, careful not to wake up too much of my body. My fingers slipped into the energy fields on both sides and as suddenly as i did this, the subtle vibration in my mula banda ceased to be. I felt only calmness and equanimity. As thought my body was the spark bridge between the two sides.
Having well and truly slipped into my imagination space, and noticing this, I remembered the mantra and began repeating it – Just as my teacher struck the sound bowl to signify the end of the meditation.
My whole body was electrified with uncontrollable waves of prana, plus a big fat grin was spreading across my face as my classmates and I came back to the room. I couldn’t help but hope that they had experienced what I had. Even just a little taste of it.
Throughout my week I had a glow from within that was difficult to contain. While I understand how fickle memory can be, I hope I described this experience to the best of my abilities. It was a while ago now and some of the details may be back-to-front, chiefly the red/blue duality as they pertain to the left and right sides.
It amazes me how fantastic our big toes can be, during stride, they each hold the entire weight of the body. To this day I remember the silver ball and filament whenever my toes are fatigued, I remember the infinite source of energy that they contain.